Horror Scopes

Just for fun, I'm going to post an old horror scope I've posted a few years ago.

Aries (March 21st - April 19th): You are not in control of your life because you’re too afraid to take control. So why would I give advice to someone like you?

Taurus (April 20th - May 20th): Whether if it’s at work or in school, bullying is a major issue for you. It's really starting to make you feel worthless. You need to do something about your bullying situation soon.

Gemini (May 21st - June 21st): Your family can really get on your nerves. You feel like they just don’t understand you. As soon as I figure out how to deal with my family, I’ll give you some advice.

Caner (June 22nd - July 22nd): You will die at an early age, possibly at around age 60. But the good news is that your death will be fast and painless.

Leo (July 23rd - August 22nd): You believe people are judging you based on your looks. Unfortunately, this is true. Have you considered plastic surgery or something?

Virgo (August 23rd - September 22nd): Sometime in August of 2006, you will see on old flame. He or she will want to be back into your life. If you take them back, your life will get even worse than it already is. When that time comes, tell that person how you really feel, and tell them to leave.

Libra (September 23rd - October 22nd): Considering who you’re living with, you might as well live in a country ruled by a dictator. Because of this, you’re not a happy individual. It's time to pack your bags and leave before something really bad happens.

Sagittarius (November 22nd - December 21st): The talent is in you. You almost have as much talent as Aquarius. Unfortunately, you’re talents won’t get you far because nobody will appreciate them, nor will anybody appreciate you.

Capricorn (December 22nd - January 19th): You like to travel. While your lifestyle is exciting, you need to pay off some heavy debts. If it comes to the point where you’re robbing convenient stores, rob somebody you don’t like.

Aquarius (January 20th - February 18th): Just when you think you’ve found that special someone, they leave without explanation. It seems that it will always be this way. Unfortunately, I have no advice for you.

Pisces (February 19th - March 20th): You can say real mean things at times. Stop before you open your big mouth. What is wrong with you?!